In this episode, I discuss pitfalls of unhealthy masculinity, including a lack of self control, lack of restraint, and a lack of ability to constrain themselves. A lot of men have confused healthy masculinity with excess, gluttony, and overconsumption, being overly concerned with porn, drinking and eating in excess, following tons of titty accounts on Instagram, and other fast but empty pleasures.
Read MoreWhen should you stop giving chances to the people in your life when they fuck up, hurt you, or act out of pocket? How long does it take people to actually change if they’re serious about change? In this episode, I talk about this very challenging topic. It’s something I get asked about A LOT in my tarot reading practice.
There’s a balance between giving grace and the benefit of the doubt, and being a total pushover, enabler, people pleaser, or doormat. Loving others doesn’t mean we need to abandon ourselves.
Read MoreIn this episode, I discuss the (sometimes difficult) balance between listening to the spiritual world, whether it's a tarot reading, spirit contact, an astrology reading (or something else), and ignoring it - and making choices that I've come to think of as "doing it for the plot."
Sometimes, we just wanna ignore spiritual guidance and live life "normally" - and having some crazy, interesting, fun, or dramatic stories to tell. Sometimes we need to make choices that are calculated risks, going on adventures that sometimes explode in our face and goes totally wrong. Sometimes it's okay to just... do that, and learn lessons the hard way.
I love and believe in spiritual guidance; I'm grateful for my own spiritual connection and gifts, and while I do listen to it most of the time, there are some times I've gone off on some adventures regardless. It can be a difficult thing to balance as human beings!
At the same time, doing it for the plot can give us confirmation that the spiritual information we chose to ignore was actually spot on. It can also teach us the real world version of what the tarot cards and/or other spiritual messages express themselves.
An interesting and important discussion! Don't miss it!
Read MoreAs a tarot card reader, I get asked this a lot - will he/she/they change? Is there hope for my relationship/marriage/friendship/etc?
Unfortunately, in many cases, hope can end up fucking people over - false hope can cause people to stick around and feel that "change is just around the corner, it'll happen any minute now," and then it's five, ten, twenty years later, and people have wasted their lives. Proof is in the pudding.
Don't believe sweet fake words - believe only what you see with your very own eyeballs. Talk is cheap. In this episode I talk all about these dynamics.
Read MoreIn this episode, I discuss whether or not the person with avoidant attachment (who left you, ghosted you, cheated on you, etc) will come back and try and repent, and what to do when and if they do.
I also discuss reasons why people may stay in such toxic relationships, such as addiction to drama, financial greed, psychological codependency, an ego boost that no matter how often someone cheats they come back, etc.
The real question is - when the avoidant ex comes back, why would you even want them? Why do you feel compelled to give them a chance? Why do you have such low expectations for your life and the people in it? If you have a hard time extracting yourself from so much drama, there is likely a psychological reason that YOU are addicted/compelled to this push/pull cycle.
Read MoreIn this episode, I talk about how surprise endings, break ups, job loss, etc - any big unexpected change - can be absolutely amazing, a gift, and the universe redirecting us to something better.
It's possible to redirect our mindset out of misery and sadness, into celebration and opening. With surprise endings, one door is closed for us, and one million additional doors open. How miraculous is that?
Sometimes, feeling better and being excited about the future is as easy as deciding to change our own mind and our own thoughts. Say no to negative self-talk, say no to projecting negativity and awfulness into the future. Assume the best is yet to come. Life is happening FOR you, NOT to you. Assume this has been removed from your path because there is something better out there for your future .
The universe has your back - believe it, claim it, live it. You can do this! Get excited about what's next.
Read MoreIn this episode of the Secrets of a Witch Podcast, I talk about the importance of reading cards and connecting with spirit all the time - even and especially when we aren't in crisis or dealing with any bad surprises.
When we read tarot cards and touch in spiritually even when we have 'no reason' to, we can get a heads up when things are about to nosedive or turn sour, and prepare ourselves for the downturn. I also talk about how healthy, empowered feminine energy quickly reveals what is in a man - so we don't get dragged along in multi-year long relationships with avoidant, emotionally unavailable men.
When we occupy a space of healed, healthy, anchored feminine energy (balanced with masculine energy), it tends to trigger and reveal the unhealthiness/toxicity in men. (Apologies to men listening to this, LOL - switch up the language to get something out of what I'm saying!)
I also give some suggestions of what kinds of questions to ask your cards when you want to reveal what is currently hidden and unavailable to you. Tarot can absolutely be predictive - it's okay to work with it to show us what we don't see, and what may reveal itself in our future, if there's no intervention.
Read MoreIn this episode, I discuss some qualities to be on the look out for if you are seeking to date and build romantic connections with people who are able to embody their healthy, empowered masculine energy. Not sure how to notice whether or not healthy masculine energy is present? Listen up, and take notes!
Read MorePart three of what to know about avoidant people when you are single and dating!
Whether your avoidant date or partner is being self loathing, stuck in shame or addiction, has ghosted or discarded you, you will want to listen to this episode to learn more about what you are experiencing.
Are people secretive about their past? Do they get overwhelmed by shame? Do they keep secrets, do they bend the truth or lie easily? Do they keep secrets from their family, their workplace, or did they keep secrets in their past relationships? You will not be the exception - they will keep secrets from you too, and this can hide addictions, spending, criminal activity, and more fun things.
After my first podcast episode on this went viral, I've since learned many more things about avoidant attachment, and some huge warning signs you absolutely need to know in order to keep yourself protected and your heart safe in this hectic dating landscape. Still up for giving it a go with someone who has avoidant attachment, or maybe have avoidant attachment yourself? Give this episode of my podcast a listen and learn more about how to notice avoidant people in the dating landscape.
Read MoreAfter my first podcast episode on this went viral, I've since learned many more things about avoidant attachment, and some huge warning signs you absolutely need to know in order to keep yourself protected and your heart safe in this hectic dating landscape.
In this episode I talk about how avoidants tend to dislike themselves, and can even occupy a regular space of self loathing, self-hatred, and putting others on pedestals. This is not about you, do not be flattered by them putting you on a pedestal.
If they are intimidated by you and devalue themselves, this actually makes it more likely for them to leave. If this is the case, they will likely leave the relationship in a sudden, unexpected way with absolutely no warning or obvious reason. Their shame is often too great for them to connect with you despite their discomfort. They will also bring up their ex all the time for no reason - which is a sign of emotional unavailability.
Still up for giving it a go with someone who has avoidant attachment, or maybe have avoidant attachment yourself? Give this episode of my podcast a listen and learn more about how to notice avoidant people in the dating landscape.
Read MoreDid you know that participating in the endless outrage olympics pumped out by social media and the news is completely optional?
It's possible to stay informed about global happenings while also not losing our minds, having mental breakdowns, engaging in hateful pile-ons online, and more.
It seems like a lot of folks these days do not realize that we can opt out of the endless cycles of outrage, and step away from whatever current event the media cycle of today is pushing everyone to react to.
Reclaim your time and energy, reclaim your power over your own emotions and life.
Read MoreWe are in a society where most kinds of aggression and masculinity are demonized and denigrated as bad, evil, or unhealthy. But is there such a thing as healthy aggression?
In this episode, I talk about the importance of viciousness, standing up for ourselves, fighting back (when necessary and from a healthy place), the survival instinct, and what I call warrior energy.
Knowing which fights to get into (and why) is a big part of this. Unfortunately, much aggressive raw survival energy is wasted on stupid online arguments and pointless protests.
In this episode, I explore what warrior energy means and can look like in the contemporary world, what causes our lack of it (and extreme misdirection of it when it's present), and where we can channel this energy instead (and why we should be aware of any of this at all).
Read MoreIn this episode, I discuss dysfunctional family systems and how what we learn in childhood can follow us around forever, unless we take steps to move outside of these wounds, traumas, assumptions, and dysfunctions. I discuss examples of how this can impact how we interact in the workplace, in our friendships, and in our romantic relationships. Includes recommendations for resources to understand these dynamics.
Read MorePeople often talk smack about anxiously attached people, but how about those avoidant folks out here on these streets breaking everyone's heart into smithereens? In this episode of the Secrets of a Witch podcast, I discuss anxious attachment, why they're the most common people to encounter in the dating landscape for all my fellow single people, what could have caused this, and some questions to ask and things to be on the lookout for as you date and try to avoid the avoidants!
Read MoreIn this episode of the Secrets of a Witch podcast, I discuss something we all experience at least once in our lives - the ending of relationships! Whether it's romantic or friendship, we've all had relationships end, and many of us have been dumped. I talk about how the best way to approach being dumped or left is simply to accept it, rather than fight it or seeking endless conversations and closure. I talk about how closure should come from within ourselves, and we should not rely on others for our own healing process and ability to move on. Closure is within you, nowhere else.
Read MoreIs forgiveness necessary or relevant when we are healing our trauma, our shadows, and our wounds? Do we need to forgive family members, or anyone who has hurt us in the past? In this episode, I discuss my own healing journey, and how forgiveness - though it was not on my radar at all, and was not something I strived for - somehow happened to me anyway. Is forgiveness necessary for your journey? I explain why or why not, and offer a perspective contrary to what we tend to see in a lot of pop psych woo woo spaces. With so many people seeing family this holiday season, it seems a relevant topic to discuss!
Read MoreA certain kind of person will be inspired by you one minute and then block you the next. When they realize what you've built isn't quite so easy to achieve overnight, they end up resenting the fact that they ever encountered you. Their own failure at what you inspired them to do makes them resent you. They shift the blame onto you in order to avoid the pain of their own failure. They don't realize failure is a necessary initiation into the possibility of success.
Whatever side of that coin you fall on, whether you're a dreamer, influencer, small business owner, or just a human doing your best to live the best life possible, I'm sure you've failed, been resentful, been resented, been inspired, inspired others, and been tempted to blame everyone for your own failures (and give up on chasing your dreams). This episode talks about all of these complicated things, how they relate to each other, and how we can best look at things through these topsy turvy ups and downs.
Read MoreIn this episode, I give my analysis of two recent massive blow-ups in the spiritual wellness and self help influencer space: femininity teacher Wizard Liz' husband cheating on her while she was 4 months pregnant, and self-styled wellness 'guru' Aubrey Marcus basically forcing his gorgeous yet miserable wife into a throuple situation. You may think this is irrelevant to you; maybe it is - I myself had never heard of any of these people before last week. However, there are some interesting similarities here between these stories, the most troubling of which (to anyone who is spiritually minded) is how both of these men used spirituality in predatory ways to manipulate the women in question.
Marcus claimed the Goddess Isis told him to impregnate both women; Liz' husband said he was 'spiritually guided' to 'run into her' at an airport. Both men use spirituality to manipulate, and both men are really good examples of what I'd refer to as a toxic, wounded feminine energy. They manipulate, and are unable or unwilling to occupy healthy masculine energy which - above all - protects and contains.
For many these two scenarios seemed surprising or out of character, but in this episode I explain some red flags in these men, and failures of the women involved, that all can learn from, especially women who are dating men, or women who are in relationships where they feel coerced to allow indiscretions.
I analyze the situation in terms of energetic polarity and healthy/unhealthy feminine energy, and discuss the difference between parroting spiritual/mental health teachings, and actually being able to embody the knowledge we as influencers espouse. I also discuss how these relationships were prematurely escalated with love bombing and false intimacy, and how you can learn from these situations to avoid ending up in something similar yourself.
Read MoreIn this episode I talk about what is - in my opinion - the number one relationship killer: contempt! If your relationship is contemptuous... it's doomed! In this episode I dive into what contempt looks like, how it feels, what it tries to achieve, why it happens, how it can cause us to act (without us realizing it), and what we can do when we experience it. This is also a call out to anyone who does fall into acting contemptuous in your relationships: cut it out! And if your relationship has contempt in it... get out sooner rather than later.
Read MoreAs therapy speak becomes more common, I've noticed that many people have a total misunderstanding of what boundaries actually are. People will complain about 'boundaries' when other people don't behave how they want them to. But - newsflash - boundaries are at their core really about US, and our behaviour: the one thing we do have control over. In this episode, I talk about what boundaries are, and how best to think about and enact them.
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